Who's right? Or is it everyone?

Last night as I made my usual trip to the library (my new second home) I was caught away in thought like normal. I was late to my normal study time which usually begins about 4:00 but because of some errands I had to run I didn't get to the library until about 6:00 or so. More people were walking campus than normal, I assume because they were heading back home where they would go to FHE (which I know I should have been going to but we don't happen to have a working FHE group at the moment so its kind of lame). As I passed by all of these people I couldnt help but listen in on some of the conversations going on. I found it interesting and worth pondering the frequent times I heard one person giving counsel to another or simply expressing their view on a topic. In other words, opinions were flying everywhere. What an opinionated world we live in! Opinions are great I believe, kind of funny at times in fact. For some reason though as I passed by the last group of opinionated persons this thought and/or question came into my head. "I wonder if all the opinions in the world were compiled and combined into one archival record, truth would be established." Yeah it's kind of a long shot but this is how I substantiated that in my head. For every persons opinion there is (allowing the benefit of the doubt for some of those that are quite "off" we might say) some degree, even if slight, of truth about the view expressed. Truth I guess in this sense would be defined as something that could be established as a fact of an actual occurance, reason, knowledge, etc. So the theory in my head is, if all parts of those truths are combined, do they make a whole? Or do they simply find themselves still drowned out in the non-truths? My mind kind of exploded when I tried to imagine how many opinions must be given in a single day. One of these days I want to see if I can keep track of how many times I offer my opinion in a day. It may not be highly accurate of a recording though I assume because I wouldnt consider myself a highly opinionated person. I may have my opinions but I guess I mean that I don't regularly share them freely. Anyway, I think that would be interesting to find that # and then multiply it by the 6.5 Billion people that live on this earth. That would just be one days worth! So with all of this opinion and wise advice/counsel from our friends and acquaintances, wouldn't it be great if we could take the truth out of it all and place it into one great whole? This is obviously the reality of a supreme being. This is the evidence of the wisdom of the Godhead and the use of the Holy Ghost who is a container of all that wisdom and imparts that to mankind.

Though it seems libraries do a great job of containing all of that knowledge and information that we as human beings seem to stumble upon and record, it's really hard to even call it a fraction of what knowledge has passed from the entirety of the lips of mankind. And then we must even realize and consider the evolution of the knowledge contained in these libraries. They are a storage of a knowledge that is still passing through the filter. Opinion and human interjections are being sifted out and truth and knowledge are being pulled together into bound covers. I can only imagine the feeling that we will all have when we reach the Kingdom of God and compare the knowledge that we had here and the knowledge of God. It may be slightly depressing for a moment for how far we still were in comparison and yet that depression would simply be replaced with relief I think, at least in my heart it would. Finally truth could be held and not tainted.

I tried imagining this thought in a pictorial and visual form before writing this blog but I realized how complex that picture would become as well. I imagined at first a number, say 15-20 circles that all form a circle themselves by their positioning. Each of them overlap the circles next to them since opinions always seem to contain many of the same elements as other opinions and thus overlap. Then I saw overlap in the very center by all of the circles creating a sort of "truth" zone where it all comes down to a point of reality. It all made sense in my head until I realized how variable those outer circles really were. Each circle will have a variable amount of truth to it, a variable amount of information contained, etc. In reality its almost as if each circle should be drawn in different sizes and colors and so on. There is no generalized form of opinion that can be dissected to see just the opinion and the truth in the same amounts every time. So, that visual was quickly destroyed haha. Nonetheless, there must be some sort of central circle that we all wish we could drink from so to speak. That central circle is the container of some of the greatest possessions known to man. Those possessions are known as knowledge. Ah to drink from pure knowledge.... that must be why listening and following the Holy Ghost must feel so good. It is pure knowledge flowing.

And this kids has been yet another trip into the mind of the Duck

Update 3/27/10

Yesterday I began to have a bit of a further exploration and realization of more thoughts concerning this topic. I think this is the best sort of thing when you are able to recognize your own flaws and build off of them. This would be one of those cases. Although the general thought of the central entry is interesting to ponder about, I realized that I had made an important oversight. It is quite interesting to see how any and all opinions overlap and where we can cross them to come to truth, but I realized that I had made a very silly assumption that opinions and thoughts are stable and/or unchanging. For the reader, this now seems quite obvious I'd hope about how stupid I was to walk right past that observation. For the main entry to be legitimate, every person would have to maintain their opinions and simply acquire them in one instance. In other words, you would either have one opinion or none at all. But that is not how things really are obviously. All of us experience opinion changes and truth findings every single day. Being in college at the moment, I most definitely experience it on a regular basis. I just heard a statement yesterday about an effect the government has had on BYU and some policies and therefore my opinion on the government has been altered to a degree, therefore changing what amount of truth per-say I first obtained.

To make this once again visual I compared it in thoughts yesterday to something we'd been learning in Chemistry lately with gas properties. Gases are made up of many tiny tiny particles all moving at various speeds and directions. Out of random order certain particles pump into others and therefore transfer kinetic energy or lose kinetic energy. In essence, due to the large number of particles, there are transfers in energy on a regular basis. We can conclude that with great probability, not one particle will remain in its exact same conditions for very long if it is contained in a certain limited volume. Just the same with our opinions, with all the other ideas and thoughts floating around, its extremely probably that our own opinions and thoughts will bounce off others and therefore transfer energy and change the properties of our opinions. In the chemistry scenario however, there is still a general and regular graph of the amount of interactions that is quite predictable. The wonder then becomes that if this is what happens with gas particles, can our ratios of opinions vs truths also be "graphed" or summed up in a sense? This is what I have recently been pondering over and I'm not sure if an answer could be gathered for that question due to its magnitude of necessary information.

Im sure there will be more things that I will realize that I am missing that alter the ratio of opinions to truth, but this is what I have for the moment. I can't quite decide if this new thought adds complication to the understanding of truth versus opinion, or if it actually refines it farther. More pondering shall continue.

The Choosiest Chooser

It's amazing how quickly our lives point us towards the plan of salvation as shown to us by our Heavenly Father. For those who know this plan, it seems that no matter how distracted we get from other events in life, that same path still becomes our direction. I've noticed this lately as it's felt like since I got here to BYU that my life has still been a bit wandersome. I feel like I have something nailed down and then its shaken up again just a bit so that I have to readjust once more.

I found myself the other day being quite unstable in my ability to just focus on my path ahead of me and instead was looking around at anything that was around me as I walked to the school. I was reading everything and analyzing every detail of my surroundings. I eventually noticed I was doing this and asked myself what I was looking for. The answer? A sign. I thought about the tendency I was having to look for any sort of direction marker for my life. Even a license plate with a few key letters would stick out to me and I would wonder if it was significant. In not too long I realize how silly this was. When God designed His plan, He didn't create it so that as we go through life we're supposed to be on a scavenger hunt for his clues and map points. That would be silly and contrary to our purpose on this life. Although He is known for intervening at times when our paths are on a collision course with great sorrow, I believe now that He really does want us to learn to make our own choices and really be GOOD at doing so. We need to know how to make choices that bring about the best results/consequences and judge righteously from right and wrong. It's difficult, especially for me it seems, since we have such an Earthly view and can only see a few hundred meters into our future it feels like. But that view must expand and lengthen as we obtain a greater spirit and a greater faith.

I've told a couple friends now of the difference in view I noticed between when I was on the mission and when I returned home. While a missionary I was living a life that was directed wholly by the spirit. The work could not be performed or at least successful without that sort of companionship. Thankfully I felt like I acquired that to a sufficient amount to bring about great works. While in this companionship with the spirit, it truly felt like I could see above and beyond the heads of those around me. It was like I was standing on stilts and could see more and farther. When I spoke to those who were attempting to make choices of significance I felt that spirit fill me and expand my vision enough that I could righteously give counsel to those who could not see as far. I knew the consequences of some peoples actions before they chose them. I knew I could promise them certain outcomes. When I returned home from the mission and began making choices for my own life, it felt like I had fallen back down to earth and was no longer on those stilts. There must be no exceptions for any individual in this plan. We all have to learn to choose for ourselves and become good choosers as we do so. Though the spirit and the Gospel give a good compass reading so to speak, we still have to take the journey through the dark and dreary world holding onto that rod of iron.

So far its felt like I've made relatively good choices, but it still feels like I'm living from choice to choice and I'm looking for that directional sign to get me going in a comfortable path. That sign may never come though and so I plan on being a better chooser every day. The best way to do that I'm guessing is to keep the spirit close through whatever means I need to. That is my plan and that is my latest choice I guess. Just from past experience I think I can already say I'm going to be just fine with that path.

A Rolemodel

I recently finished reading the book Distant Vision by Elma G . Farnsworth, wife of Philo T. Farnsworth a few weeks ago. It was a great book, I recommend it to anyone who is looking for an awesome biography. I got the book from Linda Farnsworth, the wife of Philo and Elma's youngest son Kent. I did service for the family on the mission and enjoyed every minute of it. The family itself was having a very very hard time and probably still is, but nonetheless I was able to learn a lot while I was there. My reason for bringing that up is the comparison that I now have with Philo's life and my own. They're quite different believe me, I mean, the guy came up with his ideas for the invention of television at age 15. He's definitely got me beat by a few years. What I learned in Distant Vision though is that Philo received much of his early education here at BYU where I attend. It's interesting to ponder the reality that such great minds walked the same walkways and studied in the same manner as I do now. Philo returned to BYU at the end of his career to hopefully finish his project on fusion but he died before he could complete it. Thats where the biography gets intense because Philo had fusion worked out, he just didnt have the funding or belief of all other elevated scientists around. Since he feared that others would try and steal his patents like people had tried before, he didn't record his findings like he previously had and therefore when he died, everything went with him. Kind of a bummer, but man is it amazing to think that an original BYU student almost changed everything about our lives. Fusion power would have affected almost every aspect of our lives.

I guess its thinking about role-models like these that keep me interested in even going back to the library every day to study. I get a feeling as I walk up to the doors that I know I'm going to be sitting here at one of the study tables stuck until I feel like I've reached a point of productivity that is going to be satisfactory for either the next day or the next week. It many times is a dreading feeling as I approach those doors but other times it may feel like a more noble feeling in being proud of my decision to be here and training my mind for great things like Philo T. Farnsworth.

Seeing the thousands of students around me at times feels daunting due to realization that this world is going to be filled with competition for the rest of my life. That means I can't just slow down or give myself all the time in the world to come up with my plans or work. I'm not planning on slowing down but its never an exciting feeling to think about the major loss of sleep that will continue to follow me through these following years. It'll all be worth it in the end though.

One more place of relation between Philo and I seemed to be a need for a companion. I'm not saying this to infer that I'm on the lookout to get married ASAP but there is so much that comes with having a companion to accompany you throughout life. My patriarchal blessing says that my future spouse will enhance all that I desire to do. How great is that! For Philo's case, Elma was very much that spouse that was going to enhance all that he did. He was a very lucky man to find the woman that he did. She was patient with the time he needed to spend on his inventions and the many risks that he took that at times completely devastated their family for a time. They were a team and that is what I hope to experience one day. I can almost feel the potential difference already that awaits me when I will have the opportunity to see the change when I have that companion.

Time to hit the books again, on to becoming something great.

I Can't But I Can Believe I Started This

Some of those close to me in life would not be surprised to find me finally creating a blog I think but at the same time I think it seems to be a little bit of an evidence to myself that I really haven't changed much over the years. I guess sometimes you just have to accept who you are and embrace it in a good degree. I've always enjoyed expressing my feelings in writing but have never been a great writer. That's never felt like a problem to me but I think it would always be nice to be able to express myself a little more fluently. Nonetheless I still can't help but express myself in this way some how. I have a much harder time trying to do that expression in person or simply in a verbal method and so this is what I resort to I guess.

Right now as a somewhat new college student and a man with goals of bringing together a family of my own eventually, I feel like I will definitely have some interesting experiences ahead of me. For the quickest update I'll say that I'm attending Brigham Young University in Provo, Utah and currently living in an apartment with 4 roommates, all great guys. I was recently broken from a dating relationship with a girl named Courtney, but the choice was mutual. Many of my long-time friends are very much scattered around and because of that I'm placed in a position of trying to find more and new ones that are a lot closer. That's not exactly an easy thing for me but I feel like I'm doing well so far. I am studying Neuroscience at the university and have a long way to go before I fulfill that goal.

My family is mostly all back in Washington except for a few who span across the U.S. I have a twin brother who hopefully will be joining me here at BYU in August which will make the experience here even more enjoyable I'm sure. I'm not exactly sure what all of my future plans are at the moment and I'm really feeling like I'm living life day by day. I'm not used to living that way but I guess I'm going to have to get used to it.

I guess that's me in a nut shell right now. Hopefully as this blog progresses plans will start to form in my life and I'll actually appear like I know what I'm doing. If not, then I guess that's life. At least something like this blog can be my way of releasing a lot of the inner thoughts in my mind. I think too much and can't help but get it out eventually. Considering I such at verbalizing my thoughts, here I am.